It kinda does, doesn’t it? It was a military dentist though, and I wasn’t going to be able to refuse whatever they were going to give me, so I believe they told me the truth.

I did threaten to bite them if I was awake enough to remember to do so though, so maybe the IV bag got an extra squeeze!

I had that happen with morphine once. Watched the needle for the drip go in, looked away for a second, looked back and it was already being removed because my procedure was done.

Open browser

Browser demands updates

All extensions update simultaneously. Each opens its own tab to proudly announce bug fixes for bugs you never noticed.

Close ten tabs you didn’t open

Miss one. It autoplays a video ad.

Type in search bar. Autocomplete offers suggestions that are 5 years old, NSFW, or both.

Search for a product. Top results: Ads. Sidebar: Ads. Bottom: Ads. An actual organic result is wedged between an ad and a newsletter signup modal.

Click real-looking result. Redirected to a shady dropshipper site.

Back button doesn’t work. It reloads the same scam page five times. You lose the original tab somewhere in a pile of redirects.

Click Amazon link. It’s a new seller with the business name “USB_Cable_Amazon_Partner_Official.” 13,000 reviews. All 5 stars.

Try to read reviews. Most are for the wrong product. Many are AI-generated gibberish. The rest complain about shipping.

Add to cart. You are not logged in.

Log in.

CAPTCHA challenge: Pick all the traffic lights. Traffic lights are 1 pixel wide. One is technically a lamppost. Verification failed.

2 factor authentication push. By the time you get the authenticator open, the session expired. Start over.

Try to close browser. Are you sure you want to close 37 tabs?”

Yes. It crashes.

Reopens all 37 tabs next launch.

Give up and use your phone

4 popups, fingerprint required, and every link jumps when the page loads because of delayed ad banners.

App store ad appears for the site you’re already on

Clicking “x” opens the ad anyway.

You close the phone browser

Go outside

Get a push notification: “You left items in your cart.”