I use Infomaniak. Not self hosted but mostly just works and offers a reasonable amount of storage plus integrations for not a lot of money.
Then I have many of my self hosted solutions connect to it.

I don’t run a server for a family. I have about 7 TB of movies, TV series, and anime. It isn’t hard but one of the primary jobs is that it discovers my media, identifies it, and makes it available. When it identifies things incorrectly or doesn’t identify them at all and I see 10 of the same thing instead of one with 10 seasons it’s a bit of a nuisance.
It is still a relatively first world problem but I wish it did a better job more consistently.

Yeah. I’m only torn between Jellyfin and Emby. Emby seems to handle hardware acceleranion better without any additional setup and I find the automatic identification of my media really inconsistent between them. Sometimes I get fed up with one and move to the other and everything is automatically detected. Then as I slowly add stuff things are no longer automatically detected well. I move back to the other one and I find that lots of things aren’t automatically detected.