This was a Sherlock Holmes story
Gun sticks on thumb, potentially leaving a festive corpse.
Or, more fun, balloons hit basement ceiling, mystery solved.
This actually happened…
reality is stranger than fiction
or more likely, anon was inspired
Look at the date on the article as opposed to the greentext. I think it might have been Florida Man who was inspired lol
On the morning of Jan. 25 he left his $900,000 home in Palm Beach Gardens, Fla., for that walk
What a weird fucking detail to start the article with
Everything in the USA is a competition and a flex on other people.
That struck me as strange as well
“Pity this poor rich man, because even though he was rich, he still had problems 🥺🥺🥺”
Damn. Went from funny to oh shit.
Anon: “Haha I bet they cant solve this case!”
Detective after investigating for 5 minutes: “Alright pack it up, boys. Natural Causes. He had a pre-existing condition of lead poisoning. Anyways, anyone wanna go get a donut with me?”
Do not do this. Helium is a scarce resource and those balloons create pollution and kill animals when they come down.
Yeah, use hydrogen for quadruple the lifting power! Send that gun to space!
Helium is no longer all that scarce but balloons definitely create pollution and kill animals
Also a monkey could get their hands on the gun and kill even more animals.
It’s not?
We’ve just been relying on helium deposits that are running dry and have to use other methods of extracting it that are less economical
I’ll just shoot myself with a gun made of ice instead
Make it even more inexplicable. Ice guillotine.
We already have ice that can kill you on a hair trigger, it’s called yelling at snowy mountains
Smart. We just need a 3d printer that can print ice
I was just gonna make a mold of a gun I already have and freeze some water in it
The helium thing are my exact first thoughts
The gun is going to come down somewhere. Gravity is a bitch like that. So, coastline, and make sure the winds are out to sea. Not just the surface winds, but also the winds aloft. When the gun does eventually come down, it is still going to be connected to the balloons, and will be floating at the surface for days. A balloon mass this large could attract attention. You’ll want some kind of water soluble string to drop the gun and ensure it sinks.
As it ascends, the balloon cluster is going to show up on doorbell cameras. The noise of the gunshot is going to draw witnesses with phone cameras. At the very least, you need a moonless night. Fog bank and low ceilings can help. Definitely don’t want to try this during the day.
Some guy at a lake bear me once killed himself. He had a cgest wound but they found no gun. Suicide wasn’t really on the table because it’s weird to shoot youself in tge chest, and then where is the gun? Did he throw it in the lake with hia last breath? Non of it made sense, the bullet hole was weird, they found gunpowder residu that wasn’t common from gunfire. At his home they found a sort of contraption that no one cared about, because it seemed unrelated. But then they found a similar one next to the body and it was a string and some branch and a little rock or whatever he used. He was swinging that rock around to hit the bullet at the right location to fire it. They suspected it took him hours. Later they found out that people saw him for weeks, sitting there playimg with some rock branch toy or whatever.
What an absolute insane way to die.
Elite balloon knowledge
This guy balloon guns
Thinking about it, you could really fuck with local authorities.
Drench yourself in the water at the shore, wear clothes with tags torn out, and have a notebook in your pocket with pages after pages of random numbers. Police and intelligence agency staff will work all-nighters to figure out who was the spy they found and who shot them.
Mary Glockkins
Or just don’t do it next to beach front housing
deleted by creator
Nevermind, I read this and thought it was accurate lol: https://lemmy.world/comment/26804286
>buy Helium
>around 10,000 balloon
>gun
>attach balloons filled with helium to self
>shoot yourself
>let the corpse fly away
>no one will ever know
Thank me later
One day, ballons deflate
Corpse comes raining down out of the sky
No one will know what the fuck is going on
Thank me later
I’d like to thank you now.
Thank you.
Anon can’t follow simple instructions.
How could I thank you later?
When you’re both in hell silly.
Unless you pay cash for the balloons and somehow get helium from somewhere without a bottle deposit there will be a paper trail for the setup.
I think they can tell it was self inflicted gunshot but yeah, the missing gun will be a mystery.
use two of the same model with the same bullets and do a double tap to the back of your head
The micro scratches on the bullet are unique for each gun though.
Use frangible bullets, won’t be enough left for them to match it to the gun.
Setup a mechanism to double tap you from 10 feet away and the thing floats off and then have that detonate after floating off for awhile.
What if you don’t hold it normally? Use a type of ammo from a weapon normally too long for suicide and connect something to the trigger so you can reach it, or wrap the balloons string around it.
If you watch enough true crime you can probably work out how to make your suicide look like a murder, or at the very least leave them confused for a while.
Ghouls. Missing items at crime or accident scenes happens. People come across the scene and help themselves.
Hey I remember seeing this on csi and bones and law and order and…
There is an episode in the show Elementary that tells a similar story. Person shoots self on bridge, gun connected to weight and wire and falls into river. Mystery “created”.
At first in my head, I mixed up the show Elementary with the show Recess, and was surprised. I don’t remember that show being so dark…
Needlessly over thought… please continue.
I swear someone did this years back
I remember hearing a similar story, but I’ve got no idea where to start with looking something like that up.
Found it link
It was in florida obviously
